Let yourself feel, and go through the grief process so that you can move forward. Learn forgiveness. Resentment and unwillingness to forgive will keep you locked in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your life. If for no other reason than that, forgive and let go. You are not your pain, your past, or your emotions.
Being able to let go requires a strong sense of self, which gives you the ability to learn and grow from your experiences. Really loved the idea that its past and we should let it go and to let go we must have a strong sense of self will you please elaborate on creating or may i say developing a strong sense of self.
Thanking you in anticipation. Hi Max! Thank you for your comment. Developing a strong sense of self is a process, and a lifelong adventure. We start out developing one by choosing who it is we want to be in every situation we face. Making choices from our intellect, instead of from our natural urges. I have many articles on my website that go into a lot more detail then I can give in a comment section.
I also have a book coming out in Sept. So, stay tuned! Yeah surely.. Wait for your book also please do share links for all your articles regarding to same topic thank you for your reply. I was trying to send you links on here but PT does not allow me to share links in the comment section. So if you send me a private message, I can email you back with links.
Hi Dr. Cohen I really enjoyed the article. I am a non-traditional student at a State University working on my Bachelor's in Psychology. I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that we, as social beings, need to let some of the negative things that we carry around with us To often we are imprisoned by what others think and what we self-affirm as the way things SHOULD be in a world that in reality is only concerned with their own little piece of it. I enjoyed reading the tips you suggested and look forward to more of your articles. I appreciate your comment! I am glad that my article resonated with you!
Good luck with your Bachelor's in Psychology! Sometimes is very hard to let go. I have been married for 9 years but have been together with my wife for 15 years. We separated 5 months ago because she was not happy with me anymore and me neither with here and we felt both in a very deep depression.
I tell my wife for over 2 years that i dont love here anymore, even separated from here, and she took me the only anchor i had left and now seeing this woman i love and care about every day is extremely hard. Worst is i cant break contact with my ex wife because we have a 4 year old son. The point is, i try daily to let go to my feelings for the other woman but heart does not listen to reason and all this emotional nightmare is Hi, Thank you for your comment and expressing what you are going through.
Letting go is very difficult especially if the hurt has not stopped. That is where it is helpful to continue to read and possibly seek out someone to talk to. Wish you all the best. I really like the way all the tips have been listed. I've printed it up and keep it in my purse and reread it when I need to reflect on things. Thank you. Awesome article, thank you.
It articulates everything i think and have learned over time yet find so hard to actually do. Its a good reminder and refresher.
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Thank you! I appreciate your comment. Yes with most things it's easy to know it but very hard to apply it.
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Back Today. It is far too easy to lie away staring at the ceiling each night mulling over the terrible things that have happened to you. Sometimes you cannot control when those traumas will surface and plague you. But what you can decide to do is stop consciously feeding into the cycle. Take time to process the events of your past in an intelligent, cathartic fashion, but do not dwell simply to dwell.
Remember that you cannot turn a page in a book until you stop reading that page. Letting go of the past is necessary to have a future. You cannot live in the past or get back the time you lost, but you can try not to lose more time. Regret is a mixed bag. Both of these are extremes, and you should be looking for a healthy middle ground.
But the kind that constantly draws you backwards is unhelpful. Let your penance for your mistakes take the form of positive action in the future, not endless sorrow and self-loathing.
Letting Go Quotes: 89 Quotes about Letting Go and Moving On
As you evolve in your life, you transform. You are not the person who made the mistakes. You are the person who will never make them again. You deserve your own esteem. Perfection is an unattainable summit. No matter how high you manage to ascend, you will never reach it. This goes for every aspect of your life, and for your life as a whole. If you refuse to be satisfied with less, you will forever be unsatisfied.
The only way to be happy is to accept the fact that things will never be perfect. Every moment is flawed in one way or another. Learn to value your life despite its drawbacks. Strive for the best life you can have, knowing you will never reach all of your desires. What you hate defines you as much as what you love, though. Get rid of toxic people and watch how much happier you become. Once you get rid of toxic people, unfortunately the toxic thoughts can stick around a lot longer. These thoughts can take on the form of all of your anger and resentment, or in some cases, the positive emotions that you used to associate with those people which have now been torn away.
You might end up constantly lamenting what you lost or second-guessing yourself. In some situations, you may be right to second-guess yourself. If you actually figure out that you were at fault in a relationship that failed, it is completely reasonable to go and apologize—whether you want to start the relationship back up or not.
But if you know you did nothing wrong, there is nothing to gain from endlessly rehashing the relationship. All it will do is take time and energy away from your loved ones, and make you perpetually unhappy. Sometimes it is impossible to change your line of work. But if you have marketable job skills and there are openings, there is no reason to stick to a job you hate or keep working for a company you cannot stand.
These are the hours of your life, and even though you are being paid for them, time itself is priceless; it is something you have a finite amount of and will never get back. If you absolutely despise your job and have a chance to move on, do it. You will be much happier in your new position.
Do you live in an awful apartment complex or neighborhood? Do you live with awful housemates? Do you hate the view out your window? Even if you are looking at uncertainty wherever you go next, odds are you will get at least a temporary reprieve from your woes, and at least you will have left your current problems behind you. Keep looking for a way to improve your situation. There are few things that will destroy your happiness more quickly and completely than a bad living situation. You deserve to be able to live your life without constant fear or suffering. Toxic environments can be every bit as dangerous as abusive relationships.
Where you live has a huge impact on how you think and feel each day. Find an environment that reflects your spirit and where you can live harmoniously and happily, and you will feel much happier in general. Around 1 in 10 people is addicted to drugs or alcohol. There are many other forms of addiction too, however. You could be addicted to toxic relationships, to drama, to work, to any number of other things. If one thing is certain in life, it is that your addictions will always keep you from being happy.
Addiction is the need to fill a void that can never be filled, to satisfy an insatiable appetite. It is the desire for more when there is never enough. Since that void is bottomless and that appetite is infinite, addiction locks you into a perpetual state of dissatisfaction.
At the same time, it devours everything else in your life: your energy, your attention, your relationships. Recovering from addiction is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It is also one of the biggest steps you can ever take toward happiness.
When you think about it, it really is incredible how much we structure our lives around what other people think is best for us. And then when you realize that those people are doing the same thing in their lives, you get a pretty absurd picture of mirrors facing mirrors. Is there anything genuine in it all? Only if you make the decision to do what you know is best for you.
You are not a dollar bill. Not everybody is going to like you, or should. You do not have to be liked by everyone to be happy. What you do need to do to be happy is be yourself. Each of us can remember a special time in our life—maybe it was a year, maybe it was only a day—that makes the rest pale by comparison.
But just because it is beyond you, that does not mean every day in front will pale too. Live like the best days of your life are yet to come, and you will give them permission to arrive.
Here’s The Truth About Letting Him Go: You Don’t Want To, But You Must
Are you always waiting for the right phase of the moon to do something important? Maybe you are putting off starting a business or proposing to your significant other or making a big move. Whatever it is, you cannot wait forever. The stars may never be totally aligned, but that is okay.
Whatever it is you are putting off, let go of that urge to wait until everything is right. When you are as well-prepared as you can be, jump in and get your feet wet. It might just change your life. The fear of failure and the fear of success are flip sides of the same coin for many people. Both are connected to the fear of change and uncertainty. Either you are scared you will fail, or you are afraid you will succeed and will not be able to handle the massive upheaval to your life if you do, even if it is for the better.
When you are stuck in a rut, that hurts you. You are squandering your potential, and each day, you lose more of your confidence. Not only that, but you may be losing opportunity. You never know what you can achieve unless you take the chance and try. While your comfort area and your routines are important for creating a sense of stability and security in your day to day life, there are times when you need to learn to let go of them. If you never step outside of your comfort zone, you never grow as a person, and your comfort zone remains small and contained. While doing something new may be uncomfortable at first, look at it as a chance to expand your comfort zone.
Over time, as you forge into new frontiers, you will give yourself the chance to be comfortable in a new environment, a new role, or a new relationship. You will free yourself to achieve more, to be more. Your comfort zone should be there to welcome you home each day, not to serve as a prison. Are you an emotional thinker? Do you let your temper get the best of you when you are angry? Do you plunge into new relationships without thinking because of one exciting night? While you may not think twice about these decisions when you make them, they can create long-term damage in your life.
That temper tantrum you threw in a moment of irrationality might have cost you an important relationship. That relationship you dove into headfirst without thinking could have turned out to be toxic and addictive, costing you months or years of your life. Let go of the urge to be impulsive. It is okay to slow down and think critically about your decisions. It does not mean you are not a passionate person. It just means that you care enough about the shape of your life to be passionate about the people and the issues that really matter.
Do you constantly wonder if the grass is greener across the fence? Studies have shown that people lie more often online on sites like Facebook and Twitter. Worse, this makes you feel like it must be your fault. Other people do not have it as good as they want you to think. It is unfair to put all that on another person, both to yourself and to them.
Only you can give yourself permission to be happy. If you cannot love yourself, you cannot truly love anyone else or appreciate the love that is given to you. Is there a lie that keeps you up at night? Whatever that great lie is, let it go by telling someone you can trust. A secret shared is no longer a secret. Whether the truth you are concealing is a negative or a positive, it is easier to bear once you are no longer alone in it.